Friday, June 20, 2014

Death Trap

Dutch stairs are no laughing matter.  Not only are the stairs in Holland crazy-steep, but the steps themselves are not actually deep enough to accommodate your whole foot. This means you have to go up or down sideways, unlike, say, a ladder where your foot can at least hang over the rung for balance.  What's more is there's usually some sort of spiral involved, and there's rarely a rail to hold onto (in which case you have no choice but to ascend on all fours).   This is all the more astounding when you consider that the Dutch are the tallest Europeans, averaging 6'2" (1.88 meters).

Apparently, the lack of rail is not a code violation, for when we moved into our house last year, the stairs to the basement didn't have any rail; and the stairs to second floor only had a post and rail system, but no wall rail.
Everyone has their personal Dutch stairs horror story to share.  We got ours when, twice, Reese tumbled head-over-heels most of the way down the stairs pictured above, which lead to the second floor and to his bedroom.  Reese came out of the second fall with a concussion, and we all came out of it with a new wall rail and carpet padding (courtesy of the landlord). Now we're old pros, but our out-of-town guests think it's crazy.

We are fortunate to live on the ground floor of an Amsterdam house, so our stairs look like this:


If you happen to live in one of the two flats situated above the ground floor home, you deal with this every day:


That little break about 3/4 of the way up?  Just an illusion.  There's no landing, and the first apartment is at the top of the photo, just before the stairs curve to go up a similar amount to stairs to the second apartment.   Seriously!  Now picture all of the bikes, mail boxes, winter coats, rain boots, etc. that you must step over in the narrow foyer before you start your climb.  It's a booby TRAP!

Dutch stairs got their infamous start back in in the 17th century, as summarized by another blogger:

"Apparently the reason for these terrifying structures is that most properties in the Netherlands are built on soft sandy soil, requiring massive load-bearing stakes called piles to be driven into the earth to support them. Houses are also usually built in a row, which helps them keep each other upright. Centuries ago, when folk used to do their own construction, some skimped on how deep their piles were sunk, which caused not only their own house to lean but sometimes adjacent buildings too. This led to so many problems that eventually the government took over the installation of piles, and introduced a tax to cover the cost, based on the width of the house that was built. Hence the vast number of narrow, tall, long houses in the Netherlands. They may have reasonable sized rooms but no space at all for a decent staircase."  "Why Dutch Stairs Are So Steep," by Karen Kingston
 
Dutch stairs may be no laughing matter, but I do find it quite comedic that, even today, the Dutch often build new houses according to same 17th-century engineering principles (even though they are known world-wide for their innovation).  They either take great pride in the athleticism with which they navigate their crazy stairs, or they're so accustomed to them it doesn't seem strange.  Of course the Dutch are also known for their design, so sometimes modern staircases look like this:

Photo courtesy of Stuff Dutch People Like
I stole the title of this entry from a chapter in the book, "Stuff Dutch People Like" because it so aptly captures reality of Dutch stairs.  I wonder if the people of Holland appreciate the irony in the Dutch word for stair, which is "trap."

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